Category Archives: Chronic Pain

VSA ARTS, for artists with disabilities

Being an artist is what I consider to be a gift, but being an artist with disabilities and part of the international Very Special Arts program along with many other artists who live with disabilities, is a privileged. If you aren't aware of the VSA program, it was created as a component of The Kennedy Center to foster the artistic talents in those who struggle with chronic illness, disease, or disability, and each state, along with many other countries have chapters which support and encourage artists like us. This month, the state chapter of Alabama will host Creativity in the Magic City in Birmingham and artists like me from around the state will gather at the AT&T Center to enjoy a night of celebration and art auctions. My paintings, "Twin Tanks, Twin Towers" was one of two chosen for this show and I am thrilled to be able to share it. If you know of an artist that struggles with disease or disability, I encourage you to reach out to the VSA Program in your state and to the national organization and become a VSA participating artist. Here is a link to the national chapter which has links to the state info as well.

http://www.vsaarts.org/education/vsa/

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Progress Not Perfection, A Journey of Wellness Week Three

If you have been following me since last July you might be aware that I struggle with orthopedic issues and chronic pain, and that I have had more than my share of surgeries. If you haven’t, to make a long story short, I have had both ankles reconstructed, right knee surgery 9 times with a partial replacement, my lower back fused and my neck fused. (That is the short story, With all that said, I could easily live a life of being defeated but I refuse to. Three weeks ago my doctor gave me a challenge that if I wanted to age to the best of my ability, considering my spine and joint issues, I would have to make some changes….so I am.
I started out with simple ones, like giving up sugary drinks, letting go of fast food, and such. These were easier to do than I thought. I then began to really consider my diet, why I ate, what I ate, and when. I did this because I knew it wasn’t about a diet, it was about a life change. With every little change I could see a small difference, and it feels good.
This week I started out with my biggest hurdle….exercise. I knew that I could only do that in a pool, so I joined one, and began ever so slowly to walk and then start deep water exercise with a float belt. I have surprised myself. Walking without falling is a challenge on land, but in the water I can do this well, I can even RUN, for a short period of time. I can’t tell you how important this is because one of my dreams is that I will be able to run on land again without a walker…and I will achieve that dream, despite the surgeries, despite the foot drop, despite the pain.
10 pounds down, one step at a time, and progress has been made. My challenge is a huge one, but I am determined to rise above my disabilities and love my body as much as possible. For today, I am reminded that I can do more than I ever though, it simply takes moving one foot in front of the other and allowing my mind and heart to tell me….Yes…I can.

Google+: View post on Google+ by Ardith Goodwin

How Do You Track Your Journey of Wellness?

Over the course of the past month I learned several things about my health that helped me understand which changes I needed to make to move toward a journey of wellness rather than continue staying on a path of indulgence. With this knowledge, I then realized I would need a way to track my progress on that journey if I were going to be successful because I am one of those visual learners who gain through seeing and doing. So, I decided to create a Pinterest board called “My Journey of Wellness” as a place I could collect daily progress, get support, and refer back to if I needed to resources or encouragement. This got me to thinking about what others might do to track their similar journeys? Do you keep a daily diary, journal, take pictures, keep a graph on the fridge? How do any of you who have chosen to make positive changes toward living healthier choose to track your progress? Do you think keeping track helps you actually become more successful or not?

by Ardith Goodwin
http://pinterest.com/goodwinart/my-journey-of-wellness/

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Orthopedic Challenges Vs. Optimism

Most days I am pretty optimistic. In fact, I have often been called a Pollyanna because of my insane optimism at times despite the huge obstacles I have faced while walking the planet. But, today, in this moment, I feel the need to vent, to embrace my discouragement and frustration, and say to myself, “It’s not ok today.” Many of you know my history, but most probably don’t. The short summary is that I am on my 24th surgery in my 44 years due to a genetic orthopedic issue that wears my joints/ligaments out too quickly. Both ankles have been rebuilt, my right knee is partially replaced, my neck is fused, and my lumber has 6 screws keeping it stable. All of this led me to have to leave my beloved teaching career and face life a bit differently. I am ok with differently. I am even ok with dealing with medical challenges for the most part because I know how much worse it could be. I am not facing a terminal illness. Yes, I live with a life of chronic pain, but I will take that any day over a terminal illness and 99% of the time I embrace the fact that I live an extraordinary life. Yesterday though, on a day where I learned that another disc, the one above my fusion has collapsed, I am angry.
It would be one thing if I had lifted a car or something, or tried to climb a tree and busted my behind, but no. I simply woke up and had another excruciating shot of pain wake me to reality and remind me that my body is not my friend at times. It’s not fair, it doesn’t make sense, and it can be infuriating in light of the dreams and visions my mind has dancing around….ones I will never see to fruition for the most part.
My art and my faith will be what pulls me through again, along with the support of my family and friends. I just simply wish they wouldn’t have to. For today I simply wish that I could begin a year and know that it will be one of wellness and healing and outrageous joy. I will get there, I will. But it won’t be today, and once I get past the anger, deal with the path that is before me, I will be ok. I am grateful though to be able to say to a group of friends like you all that life just sucks sometimes. I’ll get my pollyanna on tomorrow, but right now……gahhhhhhhhhh!

In album Xrays (5 photos)

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By Ardith Goodwin

Mindful Awareness Week 4 – Appreciating My Hands

Week 4 – Appreciating My Hands

Hands. Fingers. Fingernails. Skin. Wrinkles. 

As much as I depend on these two hands of mine it is true, I don’t stop and give a ton of thought into being appreciative of them. This week our challenge was to make a special effort to consider the importance of our two hands. 

I gave this a good bit of thought at first, I mean, I paused and considered how to look at my hands this week through different eyes. I wanted to ‘see’ my hands as separate entities so that I could gain some insight in to just how vitally important they are. To do this, I decided to use a strategy I loved back in the day of when I taught elementary school. I used my Wonder Cards. 

Mini Wonder Cards

Wonder Cards are simply a way to organize information about a topic, in preparation for writing a paper about it. My Wonder Question was “Why Are My Hands So Significant?” Once I knew my Wonder Question, I made cards asking more detailed questions that would truly give me a complete perspective about my hands. These are the ‘Mini-Questions’ I asked myself:

1. What function do my hands mainly serve?

2. How do those functions affect my daily life?

3. What causes my hands to change over time?

4. Does the appearance of my hands stir emotions? Why?

5. What do I love/hate about them?

6. How would my life change without them?

7. How do my hands affect others? 

As I began to answer these mini-questions I realized my answers were too easy, too obvious. I wanted to think through them, to challenge my intellect and approach this topic out of the box, so I began to research a few things. 

I attempted to complete tasks using no hands. 

I asked people questions about their own hands. 

I looked back through my photographs to see if hands were significant enough to have been photographed.

I studied the form and function of their anatomy. 

I pampered my hands and showed them love. 

I listed inward and outward factors that altered my hands. 

I meditated, pondered, and considered how my hands were used as instruments of peace or instruments of hate. 

As each day went by, I became acutely aware at just how significant they are. Not simply from a use point of view, but from an attachment point of view. This exercise stirred emotions I was not aware of, like how important it is that I see my mothers and fathers fingers in my hands, and the connection I feel when I see that. It also made me value their ability to show love to my hubs, my child, and myself in a physical way simply by touch. When I realized how much I hated certain parts of my hands, but loved others, it made me understand a lot more of how I see myself and how I perceive that others see me. This all was enlightening. 

After all the reflection, research, writing, drawing, and thinking about my hands I felt that I could answer my Wonder Question with greater insight than I had expected. Here is what I learned: 

My hands are used to create beauty.

As a matter of function, they rule.  They hold, caress, grip, stroke, tap, tinker, and take apart the tiniest parts of my life and allow the largest parts to exists. Without them, I would lose many of the juicy tidbits about life that I love. They hold the reflection of who I am, where I come from, and the promise of where I am headed. My hands are the vessels that allow me to express beauty, love, and emotions which show the best of me and the worst of me. They speak, they feed, they nourish my days through fragile moments and at times, with great strength. My hands are beautifully made, connected to my mind and heart, and by my choice can serve as agents of peace or agents of madness. They never act alone. My hands are significant, because without them, my ability to live as a Creative would be affected beyond measure. As hands are measures of time as well, I am deeply grateful to understand their connection with that greater consciousness. May I value them always, and choose to use them to share beauty, never to harm. 

My hands are the keys to unlocking who I am.

The Challenge of December

I have a love hate relationship with December. When the end of my birthday month rolls around and Dec. 1st approaches I let out a collective sigh about the upcoming month of bliss and hell, and yes, that is what it is for me. You see, I am one of those who have traumatic memories attached to this month, who loathe what the season has become in monetary ways, and who finds the balance of being filled with intense gratitude for life all the while kicking the crap out of the “ick” I feel a bit overwhelming. I have spent years and money towards therapy, I have wrapped myself in more ribbon and merriment than should be legal, and I have embraced my family and blessings repeatedly because I know they are what's important, along with celebrating the birth of Christ which is part of my faith.

Regardless of the effort, there are simply some days of this month that I trudge through, that I would rather dig a hole and bury my head in, and that I would love to run a dump truck over. In between those I am utterly filled with glee about sharing the holidays with all of the folks that make up my beautiful life.

So today, I say a prayer for those who, like me, find this month a challenge. I lift a glass and toast those who are blessed enough to find the month blissful, and if I could I would give each and every one of you a gigantic hug and say a simple “Thank You!” You help make my life grand….even in the midst of ick,

Here is a Santa, made from lots of Santas headed toward the trash can. I just couldn't help myself, HO, HO, HO!

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I have no clue who wrote it, have seen it popping up in my world every which and…

I have no clue who wrote it, have seen it popping up in my world every which and way, so that usually tells me I am to pay attention. So tonight, I head to bed meditating on this, and writing it passionately on my heart as well. Peace to all of you friends!

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A Snail’s Pace is Perfect

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It has been almost two months since I created, painted, or delved into that whimsical world of mine that is as much a part of me as my faith. Actually, I believe they are intertwined, and the time has been oppressive. That doesn’t mean I have laid wailing and whining about a horrible life, on the contrary. My life is blessed beyond measure. It simply means there are parts of us, that make us each unique, and when one or more of those parts slip away, the person begins to fade just a bit. In my world, I hate to fade. 


One week ago I had my neck fused. Surgery isn’t new to me, but what that means in reality is that the creative process will take a bit longer to come back full circle. This morning, I went into my studio, lit a candle, and breathed in God and breathed out everything else. I have missed this place. The place of being surrounding by color, and potential, and imagination, but mostly the place where God is in the midst of it. As I sat, I pulled out a quote by Ira Glass and spent a long, southern bit of time pondering it, kinda like my grandpa used to do on the front porch in his rocking chair. 

What I gained from this is that part of healing is loving myself enough to believe a snail’s pace is perfect for now. I may draw a line on a paper, I may simply dream in color, watch the sun dance through my colored glass window, or I might even go back to my all time love of Play-doh. No matter the pace or the product, the beauty is that for me, creativity doesn’t have to be limited to making a painting or a collage. It is simply part of who I am, part of my beautiful world, and God has been surrounding me with it the entire time. 

It is easy to feel defeated. Physical pain can zap my zeal in an instant. Emotional and Mental Pain can completely debilitate me. But for today, I am choosing to embrace my creativity in much smaller ways, find the juicy tidbits of joy that surround me, and give myself permission to create anything, knowing full good and well the best of me will show itself when it is meant to. In that I am content. 

Regardless of where you are, I hope his quote encourages you to see that creativity is meant to be experienced daily, in some form, no matter how small…..nothing or no one is insignificant!

http://picasaweb.google.com/s/c/bin/slideshow.swf

Start From The Beginning

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Beginnings are part of us, each day, each moment, each breath.

I believe it is how we approach these beginnings that move us forward into our journey or cause us to stumble and fall back. 

Neither motion defines our lives, but the culmination of the beginnings eventually leads us into a place we call “identity.” 

I pray today that my beginnings bring me to the point where my identity is at PEACE with the person I believe myself to be, and one who brings courage to those taking their own first steps…..to begin again.

http://www.redbubble.com/people/debbiechayes/art/6233576-baby-steps

http://picasaweb.google.com/s/c/bin/slideshow.swf

New Year, New Month, New Day!

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2011 came in quite subtle for me. Usually, I would set some goals, make some new resolutions, blah, blah, blah, but this year…..I simply let it happen. What I found was that without all the expectations I place on myself, letting life happen turned out to be one of the best ways for me to start this year, this month, this day. I actually gave myself permission to let those things go and simply approach each day as new…..it’s been really liberating, to say the least. Now, I wish I could say I am on top of the world and such but no……I am blessed though. Blessed is good, really, really, good,

Without the whine…and cheese, I have been struggling with the crud, a cold, or something, and haven’t felt great.  It seems to have found a way to completely zap my energy and for 5 weeks now it has gotten old, as old as the penicillin growing in my fridge. I have been collaging through it, writing through it (in my journal), but I haven’t felt up to sharing, at least not on the web. I won’t apologize for not posting though because I am a firm believer that if your ability or your spirit doesn’t lead you to something, then don’t go. So I have stayed, alone with my thoughts, my art, my ideas, and the quiet time has been calming. My friends though, have been such a wonderful layer of support and entertainment, which I am most grateful for. 

So, today, despite the sky covering us in a cold and gloomy mood, I am choosing to begin a new painting, work on some collages, and take the time to breathe in God, and breath out, everything else. For me, for today, it’s what I need, and taking care of me is all too important these days. My prayers, my thoughts, my smiles throughout the days have been with you all and I hope it finds you well. May you too, take some time, to renew yourself in which ever way seems best! Hopefully……art might just fit in some too!

Here is step one of the new piece I am working on. It’s a slow process…..may even have to call this one, “Patience.”

Step one, transfers from a Biology text, when the paper layer is removed

http://picasaweb.google.com/s/c/bin/slideshow.swf